My Purpose as expressed by those with more eloquence than I

“I must study politics and war that my sons may have liberty to study mathematics and philosophy. My sons ought to study mathematics and philosophy, geography, natural history, naval architecture, navigation, commerce and agriculture in order to give their children a right to study painting, poetry, music, architecture, statuary, tapestry, and porcelain.”

- John Adams

"These are not the vapors of a melancholy mind, nor the effusions of envy, disappointed ambition, nor of a spirit of opposition to government, but the emanations of a hear that burns for its country's welfare. No one of any feeling, born and educated in this once happy country, can consider the numerous distresses, the gross indignities, the barbarous ignorance, the haughty usurpations, that we have reason to fear are meditating for ourselves, our children, our neighbors, in short, for all our countrymen and all their posterity, without the utmost agonies of hear and many tears."

-John Adams

"I do not stand here as advocate for any partisan cause, for the issues are fundamental and quite beyond the realm of partisan consideration. They must be resolved on the highest plane of national interest of our course is to prove sound and our future protected. I trust, therefore, that you will do me the justice of receiving that which I have to say as solely expressing the considered viewpoint of a fellow American. I address you with neither rancor nor bitterness...with but one purpose in mind - to serve my country."

-General Douglas MacArthur

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

Help! A few months ago, I got tired of working, so I quit my job. For some reason I couldn’t get my parents to pay my rent, and the landlord keeps asking why I haven’t paid. I’m afraid I’ll get evicted soon! What should I do to get money? -Broke and Desperate

Dear Broke & Desperate,

It is at difficult times such as this when one’s character and will is tested. Don’t give up on not working, but instead be creative about obtaining food and shelter. Here are some options to get you thinking a bit more creatively:

- If your parents are the conservative type who worry about their image in the community, you can cleverly hint at how you’ll embarrass them to within an inch of their lives if they don’t start being more ‘supportive’.

- It’s not easy to find people to support you if you are searching for people at the same level or above you on the attractiveness index. So find a girlfriend (or a boyfriend, works either way) who is considerably below you on the attractiveness index, and try to develop a relationship where your contribution is only your physical appearance, in return for which you can expect to be ‘taken care of’.

- Run for office, and go into politics. Sure, you’ll have to do some work in the beginning but later on down the line you’ll be able to live off of public money while whoring around claiming you are doing whatever you’ll be eventually accused of for the good of the people.

I hope these examples will help put you on the right track. Do let us know how this works out for you.

Sincerely Yours,

Sarcastic Sage

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